englisher's Xanga

A Change Is Gonna Come

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:36:54 GMT

This blog has been through a lot.

I started it in February 2005, the spring semester of my junior year of college. This blog has seen sixteen college courses, six jobs, one diploma, three states, seven countries, eight EFL classes, three weddings, one funeral, one car accident, four seasons of American Idol, and countless books, songs, and friends.

I've been feeling a bit weighted down by all the history for a while now and I think I need a fresh start. Although I really like the Xanga format (especially the Pulse and Currently Reading/Watching/Listening features), I'm moving to a cleaner, more efficient blog and I hope to step up the content a bit. This blog has often been a place for personal disclosures and rants, and while they will have their place on the new blog, I hope that the content will be a bit more professional as I move on to more professional endeavors myself.

From now on, I won't be posting here, though the blog will stay up until I figure out how to archive the posts I want to keep. But never fear! I have already begun my new blog, and I hope you'll stick with me as I "grow up." Please visit me at:

coalescence.wordpress.com

And thanks for reading.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:39:49 GMT

So I just took the GRE, and I was actually able to view my quantitative and verbal scores right away. Turns out I was only 50 points off my SAT score, which isn't really a good thing, but oh well. I could rant for paragraphs about what the GRE can't possibly measure and how their scoring system is jacked, but it would sound kind of pathetic, so I won't. (But it's RIDICULOUS! DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M GOING TO DO POORLY IN PRE-1900 BRITISH LIT IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE WORD "CALUMNY" MEANS?!) Like I said, I won't.

Unfortunately, even after four years of college and two years out, I still have issues with equating my intellectual ability with my self-worth, and I have to learn not to do that. I'm pretty sure my scores will get me into grad school, and that's really all that matters.

Goodbye, standardized testing. I don't think we shall ever have the pleasure of meeting again. And good riddance.

Notes on Current Pop Culture/News

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:59:20 GMT

- I should have watched Obama's press conference, but I didn't, and I have yet to find it online. I would have liked to hear what he had to say about his economic stimulus package. I keep hearing positives and negatives about it, without actually researching the issue. Basically, I'm for it if it stimulates my economy.

- I thought this year's Grammy performances were so-so, though I think most of the awards went to the right people. (Love always, Jonas Brothers, but Adele deserved it.) I did, however, enjoy the recreation of the Four Tops with Smokey Robinson, Radiohead's "15 Step" even though Thom Yorke creeps me out, Coldplay's combo of "Lost!" and "Viva La Vida," U2's spirited new "Get On Your Boots," and Jennifer Hudson's classy and heartfelt thank-you, "You Pulled Me Through." I was really hoping that M.I.A. would get her own performance spot, but no--they dressed her in some god-awful sheer maternity jumpsuit and made her play 5th fiddle to four egocentric rappers.

- Speaking of the Grammys, the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle is pretty disgraceful, if indeed he was the one who caused her injuries and then fled the scene. Way to ruin a career in the course of an hour, dude.

- Christian Bale is an idiot. Nothing excuses that kind of behavior.

- As for my life's current events, I found out I might get cross-trained in other sections of the bookstore by next month! This could mean more hours, and certainly more variety in my work. I've been looking for another part-time job to supplement my income, but haven't had any luck so far.

- If you're into Jane Austen, you should really check out the newest BBC version of Sense & Sensibility. I know some people (coughAliciacough) who prefer the Hollywood version with Emma Thompson, and there are aspects of that film I prefer, but the cinematography and acting talent in the BBC take are simply superb. It just finished airing on PBS, but the DVD is already available.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:48:34 GMT

Dear woman who came to the cafe this morning,

Thank you for saying out loud to your friend, "This is my favorite girl right here!" And to your friend, thank you for saying, "I know, mine too." It was well-timed.

Sincerely,
Me

Just people.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:47:30 GMT

This morning, I clicked on one of those tantalizing MSN links on Hotmail--this one advertising some press event with Oscar nominees, because I, as much as anyone else, get sucked into the celebrity vortex and convince myself that I must know what's going on in their lives, what they wore to that gala, how their kids are doing. But this article and accompanying video were different.

Apparently, every year, Newsweek asks some of the Best Actor and Actress nominees to gather for an Oscar roundtable, where they're asked candid questions about their work, but also allowed to simply discuss anything amongst themselves--politics, artistic inspiration, family, etc. If you find yourself getting too wrapped up in celebrity press and putting people on ridiculous pedestals like I do sometimes, I encourage you to watch this (link here) and find what I found: when you watch these actors and actresses at length in a very normal setting, you realize how normal they actually are. They all interrupt each other; they each have a story to tell; you can see them listening politely to each other even if they're a bit bored; they compliment each other's work; and, amazingly, they're all quite gracious and humble about their own careers. Behind their universally recognizable and bankable faces, they are all just people. It's something our country--and I--would do well to remember.

You should see it.

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:34:42 GMT

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 19:18:25 GMT

I still like my job. But some days, I become convinced that the world is full of reprobates who literally have nothing better to do than gripe about everything that everyone else does without regard to motivation or intent, but simply to the needs and desires of their own precious little lives*.

*For the record, this is written out of momentary frustration. Many of my coworkers have to deal with situations that would be difficult for anyone: broken families, abuse, overuse of drugs and alcohol, etc. While I'm a firm believer that there's no excuse for being a jerk, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances, and on good days, I'm better at remembering this and thinking better of the people I interact with.

On days like these, I need some serious detoxification, as I've come to refer to it. Detoxification is a big topic in health and wellness, but my methods go beyond diet. So, while I do not suggest that everything here will work for you as it does for me, I present Crystal's Guide to Detoxification.

1. Yogi Detox Tea.

For the record, I don't know if this tea actually medically does anything to rid your body of toxins. But it says it does, and I trust herbs more than I trust most medicines. Plus, the blend is dark and spicy like chai and it certainly feels cleansing, and even if it is a placebo, it's better than nothing. I also love the "fortunes" that Yogi puts on each teabag. Today's read "Share your strengths, not your weaknesses," and one that I got a few weeks ago I actually tucked into my work nametag to remind myself: "Speak the truth."

2. The Italian Combo sandwich from Panera Bread.

Yeah, I doubt a full half-pound of deli meat is detoxifying, but if you need something to sink your teeth into, buy this sandwich. You will not regret it. The thing is huge, and absolutely jam-packed with roast beef, turkey, salami, and cheese. It's serious comfort food after a long day of customers you wish you could sink your teeth into.

3. The Ordering of Love by Madeleine L'Engle.

I'm still working through this book of poetry I got for Christmas, and it's wonderful. Every time I open it, I find something that resonates with my own thoughts and emotions. It's been especially helpful as I go through a time of searching and questioning in my faith, joining a new church body and trying to meet fellow believers. Madeleine knew the joy of salvation intimately, and she expresses it so innocently and jubilantly that it wins you over.

Help me forget the cold
That grips the grasping world.
Let me stretch out my hands
To purifying fire,
Clutching fingers uncurled.
Look! Here is the melting joy.
My heart beats once again.
--L'Engle, "The Winter Is Cold, Is Cold"

4. Star Trek: The Next Generation.

This is probably an idiosyncrasy of my special brand of nerdiness, but Star Trek is the ultimate entertainment escape for me. It's a world where humans have achieved a new form of civility, and nothing--time warps, alternate universes, holograms, forcefields, androids, advanced medicine, new species--is impossible or beyond the imagination. God bless Netflix.

5. Music, of course.
My de-stress music usually takes the form of songs that start slowly and build to a climax. The swelling sound is cathartic as I let it express what my own words and thoughts can't. Examples include:
- Glósóli by Sigur Ros
- The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades... by Sufjan Stevens
- When Your Mind's Made Up by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglová

What fascinates you?

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 20:58:48 GMT

Fascinate: v. to attract and hold attentively by a unique power, personal charm, unusual nature, or some special quality; enthrall.

- Quantum physics, the speed of light, the possibility of time travel, and all kinds of science fiction.
- Water in all forms.
- The mental and emotional intelligence of animals.
- The art and science of poetry; the power of rhythm.
- The link between music and emotion.
- Synesthesia.
- Multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia, and a variety of other mental illnesses; also, the psychological makeup and motivations of criminals.
- Ezekiel 37:1-14.
- 1 Corinthians 1:18-28.
- The Ryan Adams cover of "Wonderwall" by Oasis.
- The development of a child in the womb.
- Snowflakes, fingerprints, handwriting, and all other things that are unique to each individual on the planet.
- Prophecy.
- The Holocaust; other genocides and what causes the human mind to think they are acceptable.
- Mythology, religion, and paganism.
- Weather; also, the moon's effect on the earth's oceans.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Congratulations, President Obama.

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 12:14:32 GMT

If you're going to lead my country
If you're going to say it's free
I'm going to need a little honesty

Just a few honest words
It shouldn't be that hard
Just a few honest words is all I need

--Ben Sollee

Pepsi: Obviously Not Bi-Partisan.

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 22:04:18 GMT

Mmmmmm. Obama-flavored Pepsi.